A Single Person’s To Do List

By: Kenneth Stepp

A to do list? I have used them for years. With dubious success I might add. When I lived with my ex and kids. I always had something to do with my time. Today. I have to be more assertive is my quest for keeping myself busy. My mind mostly. Most of my issues are brain driven anyway. It’s why I write so much. It’s why I explore towns in Georgia. My mind needs to stay busy, until it finds another mind to play with. How is your mind doing?

I became an empty nester without warning. One day I was part of my tribe. The next, I was by myself in the jungle. An unknown place for me. Did it ever feel that way to you?It’s the best description I can give it. At first, I figured, like everything else in my life, I would master it in a few days. I am a quick study. And I appeared to have done just that. The very first girl I met was my dream girl, my fantasy, my “Forever”. I actually said outloud. How lucky am I to have found real love with the first girl I met. That mood changed when we failed too.

Life is unpredictable. Humans are unpredictable. Maybe those are related. Having no love of my life handy. I was alone and had many hours in each day to fill. Twenty four of them, it turns out. I’m betting we all have about that many every day. Give or take. What a predicament to be in. My life has been all about loving those in my family. Now. No family. This is where the individual choices start vying for position. For me, many things that most do, was easy to say no to. I hated bars, singles groups, and dating online. So, I would remain alone and needed to fill my days with laughter someway. I decided to make a list. I call it my daily “to do” list. What do I like, have a passion for, and interests me? People, history, art, and historical architecture. That was a pretty exciting list for me. Finding something that incorporated all of it was a mind numbing task.

Luckily, my rebound relationship had these same passions. She and I had visited several small historic towns and were just tourists. Man, I enjoyed that. I wondered. I enjoyed simply breathing the same air as her. Would I still enjoy the small towns? Only one way to find out. I drove to Madison Georgia. I was completely hooked. I was so excited to have found a distraction from the loneliness. It would become my hobby. I call it, Exploring. Mainly because it deserved a name. It was and is amazing. I miss exploring with someone I love. But, I love exploring. It has freed me from becoming enslaved by the mundane life offers.

To remedy this, everyone creates their own to do list. It should simply say, “To not be faced with real life alone list”. Many find it following certain bands from bar to bar. Some find it in clubs. Night clubs to art clubs. There is a lot of room between those two. Choose your spot. Some are running from boredom. Some from themselves. I can’t tell you how many times lately, I found something interesting. No one to share it with. This was not the life I wanted. If you have settled into the alone life. I hope it works for you. It isn’t natural. It isn’t normal. It’s just alone. Settling seems like the right word in this case. I know, through evolutionary study and scientific research. We were made to partner. I have spent much of my short time as a single, running from it. Eventually, I hope I stop. Have you ever experienced this? My theory is that we cycle. We go from, “I am fine alone”, to “I was made to share my life with another”. The trouble is. We have to find new people every time. We run potential mates off while in one cycle. Only to look for one in the other cycle. That is deeper thought than I am willing to do today.

Pen and pad in hand. We prepare our to do list for whatever reason or cycle we are in. Do we ever break out of this dog chasing it’s tail syndrome? You tell me.

www.stepplife.com

Founder, American Angel Works