By: Kenneth Stepp
Jungle. Not a bad word to sum it up. Vast, dark, confusing, and I have seen Tarzan out there too. Not the fake ones either. I mean Johnny Weissmuller, loin cloth and all. Guys. He kills crocodiles with his bare hands and elephants obey him. There is just no competing with that. Although. I can model a loin cloth. But the animal part of his gig is over my pay grade.
I have often used different ways to describe being single again. A minefield, jungle, the arena, fighting ring, etc. All have merit. None accurately projects the emotional flow one gets into once they have taken the leap. Expect the unexpected, and you will still be shocked. Guard your heart. And you will still get hurt. Make decisions based on logic and facts. They will still be wrong. The latter, I have figured out. Where matters of the heart are concerned. You make decisions from the heart. Not the head. If not. People get hurt. Usually everyone involved. One walks away feeling they made a “wise” choice, one is left confused. Both are crushed. No winners. Everyone loses. I lived this one.
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“Today is the first day of the rest of your life”. I have heard this tired quote until it lost it’s meaning. Until recently. I get it now. I meet new people all the time. When I meet a potential new friend or lover. I have learned to refrain from “Checking them out”. I won’t even Google them. I was one of the most talented investigators I knew. I can dig so deep, I’ll find something about everyone. I learned the hard way to stop. If not, superficial and surface only relationships are the best I will do. Instead. I learn from this moment forward. I liked them when we met for a reason. Why mess that up? This has served me well. The internet can lie. Records do not know the back stories, and reports are clinical. Not personal. My life is richer because of this decision.
It is at the end of the day, judging. Something I run from and hate when I catch myself doing it. I do understand the safety thing. Especially if you are a girl. There is a better way to move forward though. Make the first 3 or 4 dates, safe dates. Public places, around friends, etc. This way you spend enough time to make a decision. You can even ask. Is there anything out there about you I might find? Explaining that you took the time to get to know them first, should make them ok you are enquiring now. If not. Perhaps he has his previous wife buried under his home after all. In that case. He probably isn’t right for you.
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I admit. This jungle is full of ugliness. Many many years ago, I was asked to investigate a suspicious death. It turned out to be a murder case. And the guy walked. He was an Atlanta Police Officer. Part of a special unit, known for their toughness. He was in the middle of a divorce. He talked his wife into going on vacation in Mexico with him to try to reconcile. She told everyone that would listen. If I don’t come back. He killed me. She drowned the first day there. He had her body cremated the following day. Everyone knew. It was the perfect crime. And, he was safely covered by the blue blanket of brotherhood. I met his “next” wife after the split. She was scared to death. She said he told her when he heard the bath water running he still cried. So, I get that there are psychos out there. Sociopaths. They are frightening. And magnificent liars.
Without risk, there is no reward. As a business person. I know of no other thing to think. Behind every big win. Was a big risk. And, for me. I am looking for the biggest win in the world. My “Forever”. I’m stepping up to the ticket window before each horse race. Risking all I have, for all I want. One more time……
Founder, American Angel Works
